Love Near and Far

** This just in! This morning while changing Evie's diaper, I got my first smile! We had seen the "gassy" smiles before, but this one was different. She was still, looking straight at me, and smiled! It's amazing what a smile can do.**

Now back to our originally scheduled programming...

Evie's life is a celebration, to be sure. With her one month birthday this weekend, we realized how many people have already invested in Evie's life in very real and loving ways. This little one has quite a growing family. People have (and will) come far and wide to see-kiss-love-rejoice in Evie's little perfect life. Those that can't travel continuously send messages, cards, gifts, and calls to check on her and us. We have been overwhelmed with the amount and depth of care for us and for Evie. It's amazing.

This weekend, my sister Amy drove all the way from outside New Orleans to come see us. Amy has been such an encourager and sounding board through my pregnancy, losing Caleb, the adoption process, and Evie's arrival. She offers a big sister's guidance and careful direction, but also lots of very practical advice about all things baby: you need a diaper pail, but get the Diaper Champ because it takes a regular trash bag and not expensive refills; you need a car seat, but don't fall for the super expensive ones because really, they are no more safe or protective; don't worry about letting her sleep in the car seat-swing-without a swaddle every now and then-- sleep is important, no matter how you get there. I am so thankful for my relationship with Amy. She and her husband, Brian, and their kids Carly and Will mean so much to us.

Papa, JJ, Amy, Brian, Carly, and Will Nixon

Amy with Evie

Brad's family was enamored with Evie a few weeks ago, and now Amy joins the ranks. But Evie's admirers don't stop there.

Last week, Evie met her OCHS family. That crazy, brilliant, hard working, sensitive, dedicated Warrior family.

 Melissa and Katie- great friends!

Lynne, our fearless leader

A happy mom and dad

The crazy C-hall English teachin' ladies

This weekend, Evie officially met our church youth family. That silly, goofy, loving, accommodating, anticipating family.
(pictures to come)

Evie also met her 3rd set of grandparents, my sister's in-laws, Papa and JJ Nixon. Those sweet, giving, listening, incredible grandparents. How wonderful it was to see them!

With Amy and JJ

As I said, Evie has a huge family. She still has family to meet. We are overwhelmed with kindness and the outpouring of love. She is much to be celebrated, to be sure.

But for now, Evie needs a nap.

For those of you providing love near or far, thank you. We feel it in Athens, Georgia.

Transparency

Transparency.

That's a word that keeps on coming up in my life this week. The idea of transparency is one that I have struggled with in the past because I was fearful of the Truth, others' judgement, or my ability to defend choices that I have made for my life.

It's also a word that two people that I respect very much used this week to describe my life these past several months. They have thanked me for being transparent.

It's also a word that someone recently used to question our ongoing relationship with Lauren, Evie's biological mom. 

"Why would you want Evie to know her birth mother? Doesn't that scare you?"

Well... this just in: Evie has a different skin color than Brad and me. She looks like us now, but her complexion will continue to come in as she gets older. She will know-- skin color or not-- that she is adopted. Even if Evie was pasty white like her parents, we would still want an open adoption. It just make sense.

It is our hope and prayer that not only will Evie know about Lauren, but that she will know Lauren. And Lauren's family. And Lauren's phone number. Where Lauren lives and how to get there. 

Having a closed adoption means that once papers are signed, the adoptive parents and child have no contact with the birth parents. Closed adoptions, in my opinion, hurt everyone. The child grows up in a sense of rejection, not acceptance. Adoptive parents lose touch with the child's specific history and foundation. Birth mother has no knowledge of the child or her life. She isn't going to forget the child. It just doesn't work like that.

I am thankful for my stroke and resulting rehabilitation for lots of reasons, but I can see how the Lord used that season in my life to prepare me for adoption. Because we needed the support of those around us and because my health issues were so unusual, we began sharing the truth-- the whole truth-- with everyone. We began to see how this openness blessed our own lives: people were willing to listen (and we needed people to hear our hurt!) and slowly, we found others who had similar hurts. Mothers who lost children at far too young an age, other young people who had strokes, students who struggled through speech therapy, couples who had difficulties getting pregnant or staying pregnant, friends who relied on a God who seemed too far away sometimes. Our lives has been enriched by sharing our pain. Because we have shared it again and again, you have helped carry that burden.  In the sharing, we have created a new sense of transparency. A new sense of the truth of my life.

Proverbs 12:17 - Whoever speaks the truth gives honest evidence,

but a false witness utters deceit. 

In this way, the stroke helped prepare me for adoption. 

When Brad and I told Lauren that we want her to be a part of our lives and part of Evie's life, we told the truth. The whole truth.

But you didn't come to this blog to hear that! You came to see these! 

With Brad at church

A happy family

Happy Hour watching the Braves

A Peace That Transcends

If you know Brad, you know he is goofy/ silly/ a loud talker/ passionate for the people he cares about/ and ultimately,  he loves to tell stories. Now imagine Brad x6 and you have Brad's family. 

Gigi with Evie

The Bakers came to Athens this past weekend to meet Evie, see our  house, and see us. It was great to have Gigi (Rosemary) as an    experienced set of feeding arms and hands, to have help with diaper changes from Auntie PeyPey (Peyton) and Tia Marisol (Molly, our Spanish translator) amid TJ Maxx shopping advice,

Peyton and Molly and Evie

Alex and Evie

and Uncle Owletts (Alex) provide some much needed snuggle time. 

Though he isn't pictured here, we also appreciated Popsidootsie (Ricky)'s help with Jackson during the weekend. Jackson got some much needed attention and love.

Sunday, we took Evie to church at St. James for the first time. I was excited to get back to church and for Evie to meet her very large extended family. It was amazing-- our friends there were so supportive and loving. Pastor Jerry called our family and close friends down to say a special prayer for Evie, Lauren, her family, and us. I kept my eyes closed most of the time, partially in prayer, but also to resist the water works behind those lids. The congregation sang "Jesus Loves You" to Evie and gave her a standing ovation. 

With Evie, at St. James, 14 August

Our St. James family has lived with us through my pregnancy and loss of Caleb, through my stroke, through my rehabilitation and mending, and through this adoption process. A friend told me yesterday that she understood Psalm 30: 11-12 in a whole way because of our journey: 

You have turned for me my mourning into dancing;

  You have put off my sackcloth and clothed me with gladness,

 To the end that my glory may sing praise to You and not be silent.

         O Lord my God, I will give thanks to You forever.

The Lord has turned my mourning into dancing and given me the legs that can dance again! Brad and I are so, so grateful for that St. James family, as they have prayed-supported-cried-yearned-celebrated-rejoiced with us through the last year and a half. 

At the end of Pastor Jerry's celebration for us, Brad shared with him that we have often dreamed about that moment that we could introduce our daughter to the congregation and likened it to the scene in The Lion King where Mufassa and Nala present Simba to the Prarieland:

And so, of course, Jerry shared that with the congregation, and Brad had to follow suit:

Overall, it was a great weekend. A blessed weekend. Some might even say a miraculous weekend.

Rosemary, Alex, Molly, Evie,
Ricky, and Peyton Baker

And today, Evie, Jackson, and I are resting from the weekend. Jackson's back at his 'station' and thankfully, Evie is sleeping!

Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.

And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding,

will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

Philippians 4:6-7

A Day in the Life of Evie

Brad and I have been adjusting to being parents these last couple weeks. Everyone says it's the hardest thing we will ever do but also very rewarding. Adjusting to Evie's schedule is a challenge, but at least there's a schedule! Evie typically eats about every 2.5 or 3 hours and mostly sleeps between those feedings. She is staying awake more and more which is fun for us!
So far, we have noticed that Evie...

Has a 'roll with it' kind of attitude...

Has lots of patience with our dog in her space...

Gets really mad when she doesn't get what she wants...

Loves to be on her tummy...

Makes funny shapes with her little lips...

Likes Train's "Soul Sister"...
Doesn't mind fridge cold formula...
Would rather be held than not held.

We especially love that 'roll with it' attitude. My brother affectionately joked the other day that we would have to adopt for someone in our family to have that characteristic. I welcome that attitude to my gene pool! 

Evie also makes a wide array of grunting sounds (which I interpret as a gibberish conversation with me) and is starting to look in the direction of sound and movement. She's an awesome baby! 

Chillin' on the Couch

Evie is very excited to meet friends and family. She has met some friends over the past week, and this weekend, Brad's family is coming to Athens to see us and the Evester. She has her outfits planned out. She is quite the fashionista.

Evie in her polka dot dress

We have continued to stay in touch with Lauren and will continue to do so, hopefully, for the rest of our lives. When we started the adoption, I did not expect to grow so close to the birthmother of our adopted child, but Lauren has kind of become part of our family in the last few months. Evie will know she is adopted, of course, and she will know Lauren. I am so thankful that the Lord has shaped our arrangement so that the Bakers really know Lauren and Lauren really knows the Bakers. She is a gift to our lives!

Lauren and Evie

Today, Evie is 15 days old. In the same way that I can't really remember what it was like not to be married to Brad or to not have endured the health issues I have, it's beginning to get harder to remember our house before Evie. And it's only been 15 days!

Introducing EVIE BAKER!

Welcome, Evie!

Evelyn Marie

Because so many of you have invested in Evie's life through prayer, phone calls, emails, and visits, 
and because so many of you have followed our adoption story from day 1,
and because many of you have helped rehabilitate my body and spirit,
and because we want to share Evie's life as part of our family's testimony,
and because she's just so dern cute,


We share Our UnbelEVIEable Story with you!


We wanted a way to share pictures, stories, milestones, celebrations, and challenges with those who care for us and Evie, so this is it.


Evelyn Marie was born July 27, 2011 at 3:10am in Fayetteville, Georgia. Lauren, Evie's biological mom, texted us at 1:46am (funny how details just stick) saying that her water had broken and that she was on the way to the hospital. Brad was still up watching the longest Brave's game in history with his brother Alex who happened to be in town. Brad and I got dressed, threw a few bags in the car, and headed south. We were on the road by 2:00am. 
The drive was exciting-manic-anxious-terrifying and filled with lots of prayer. Amid the excitement of the moment and the emails/ phone calls/ text messages being transmitted every second, Brad and I prayed often and with anticipation. 
"Lord, protect Lauren's body and give her courage..."
"Lord, be with Lauren's family..."
"Lord, touch this child's life..."
"Lord, bring us peace and wisdom..."


And He did just that. We arrived at the hospital at 3:20 to learn that Evie had just been born! By the time Lauren got to the hospital, she was in the final stages of labor and barely had time to push. What a labor champion!


It's times like these that I think about TLC with all of their Baby Story episodes. Lots of women on that show prepare for 6-8 months to experience natural childbirth. They have personal coaches, labor coaches, birthing coaches-- so many coaches-- to withstand the pain and intensity of labor. Then, by the time they are starting labor, all the coaching goes out the window and (at least sometimes), they opt for the drugs. (I'm not belittling the epidural-- I would totally have one if I was birthin' a baby.) But not Lauren. That was my first thought-- that she had done this all naturally. When we got to see her, I asked her how she was feeling. She said (no exaggeration):
I'm feeling good. The contractions were kind of uncomfortable until we got to the hospital. And then they kind of hurt.


Kind of hurt? Seriously? No teeth gritting, white knuckle, I'm-screaming-so-loud-they-can-hear-me-in-Bejing kind of pain? No. Not Lauren. What a hoss.


Lauren brought Evelyn Marie into the world, all 8 pounds and 4 ounces, all 19.5 inches of her. After we said a quick hello, Evie was taken to the nursery to have her first round of tests and her bath. She told us what she thought of that.

Evie's First Bath

Lauren gave me a special band to get into the nursery, so I was able to help with her first feeding, her bath, and her first magic-sleep bringing swaddle. Brad got to watch from outside the nursery, taking pictures like the paparazzi. Evie was, after all, already a star. 

Tina, our first nurse, washing Evie's hair

That was all Tuesday night/ early Wednesday morning. Late Thursday afternoon, both Evie and Lauren were discharged from the hospital. Prior to going to the hospital, Lauren decided to let us take Evie home with us, and so, we made the trek to Athens. After figuring out a car seat and pulling off in Conyers to change a poopy diaper, we made it back and introduced Evie to her room.

Evie's Room, in progress

By Georgia law, biological mothers have 10 days to revoke the Surrender of Rights signed in the hospital, and Monday, August 8 finished our 10 day period. The adoption won't be complete for about 6 months or so, as we have a few more hoops to jump through, but there is no reason to believe that there should be any problem. Therefore, the Brad and I happily introduce you to Evelyn Marie Baker!

We are thrilled that Evie is in our home, that we continue to build a lasting relationship with Lauren, and that after almost 2 years of an emotional and physical rollercoaster, the Lord has blessed us with a perfect little girl.

And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out his love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom he has given us.

Romans 5:5